Going back to the beginning . . .

When I began this blog, it was about a journey . . . of self-discovery . . . of revisiting my past and seeing what I have learned and what I still need to work on.

After a few weeks, I got derailed.

I became a feedback junkie.  I worried about how many people were reading what I wrote – and not what I or others might learn from my words.  And I lost my passion for the basic reason I write.

So, I’m going back to the beginning.

On one my very first blogs, several  years ago, I shared part of a journal entry from a writing class about why I write.  I’m sharing an updated version here to remind myself why I do this; It isn’t for the reblogs, or the views, or whatever kind of recognition I might be seeking.  At least, it shouldn’t be.


 

littleizzy

Why do I write? Because if I didn’t, I honestly think I might go insane.

When I’m not writing, things are not right in the world of Izzy. And even when I’m not physically putting things down on paper (or on the computer screen), I am constantly writing things in my head.

Sometimes I get frustrated with myself because I will come up with a brilliant idea while driving down the road, but by the time I get somewhere to do something about it, it has run away with the other thoughts crowding my brain and it feels like a lost opportunity.

I have so many ideas of what I want to write about, learning from my past, being a single mom, music, poetry, and even the never-attainable fairy-tale romance.  I probably have 20+ drafts of things that I have started and not finished.  I get caught up in the reasons why I’m writing it, or what any readers might think of it, or if what I have to say even matters.  Often, I chicken out and don’t go where my heart and my words are leading me.

But I continue to write.

I write because it is born in me.

Writing has been passed down to me through generations of storytellers, poets, and musicians.  It is a part of me that makes me who I am and a part that has never gone away, even when I’ve tried to suppress it.

I always write more than required when it comes to school or work assignments and often get teased or even reprimanded for “writing a book” when only a paragraph is required.  I don’t do it to be an overachiever.  The truth is, I love words.

I do not want to write for recognition and I will not allow myself to follow that path anymore.

I write because I really have no choice.

And it is time to go back to the beginning where I remember that.

-Izzy

“To gain your own voice, you have to forget about having it heard.”
—Allen Ginsberg, WD

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15 thoughts on “Going back to the beginning . . .

  1. It really is so much more satisfying to do things because we love to do them. It’s easy to get caught up in trying to get more followers or likes. I mean, it makes us feel good, too, to be recognized. My philosophy is that I have my blog for me, if people like it or are passing visitors that happened to like one post because it resonated with them then I am happy for that in that moment. Otherwise, I just enjoy the feeling of blogging for my own self. What I’m really trying to say is that you hit the nail on the head with this post and I agree!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think we all go through that period of being self conscious about what we post here. Good for you Izzy for going back to the beginning and reforming your roots. When you write from your heart, like you have done here, it’s beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: My Article Read (12-10-2015) | My Daily Musing

  4. I write because I’ve been fortunate enough to learn I have stories worth telling. Maybe they’re not my stories (at least not all of them) but through my fiction and poetry I can help folks be a little kinder to one another. I’m grateful you write. You’ve helped a lot of folks be a little kinder to themselves. I hope that it’s helped you be a lot kinder to yourself. You’re worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

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